Bullying and Harassment

Bullying and harassment can affect people at school, work, online, in community settings and within relationships. Sometimes the behaviour is obvious, such as repeated insults, threats or intimidation. At other times, it can be more subtle, involving exclusion, humiliation, unreasonable criticism or behaviour that gradually makes someone feel unsafe or powerless.

If you are experiencing this kind of behaviour, you may be questioning whether it is serious enough to speak about, wondering what you can do to make it stop, or finding that it is affecting your confidence and everyday life. Understanding what constitutes bullying or harassment can help you decide what support may be appropriate.

Counselling cannot necessarily change the behaviour of another person, but it can provide a confidential place to talk through what has happened, consider your options and work through the emotional impact.

Bullying generally involves repeated unreasonable behaviour towards another person that creates a risk to their health and safety. It can occur wherever people interact, including schools, workplaces, sporting clubs, social groups and online communities.

Bullying can be physical, verbal, social or psychological. It may include repeatedly insulting or humiliating someone, threatening or intimidating behaviour, deliberate exclusion, spreading damaging rumours, undermining someone’s work or abilities, sending abusive messages or damaging their belongings.

Bullying is not always loud or confrontational. A pattern of subtle behaviour can be just as distressing when it is persistent and unreasonable.

It is also important to distinguish bullying from an ordinary disagreement or a single unpleasant interaction. People can have conflict, misunderstand one another or behave inconsiderately without the situation necessarily constituting bullying.

Harassment involves behaviour that is unwanted and offensive, intimidating or humiliating. Depending on the circumstances, harassment may be unlawful under Australian legislation.

Harassment does not have to involve physical contact. Words, gestures, images, messages and online communication can all potentially be relevant.

What is the difference between bullying and harassment?

The terms are sometimes used interchangeably, but they are not necessarily the same thing. Bullying usually refers to repeated unreasonable behaviour that creates a risk to a person’s health and safety. Harassment is a broader concept and can include behaviour that is offensive, humiliating or intimidating. Certain forms of harassment may be unlawful because they relate to characteristics protected under anti-discrimination legislation.

There can also be overlap. A person might experience repeated racist comments at work, for example, which could be both bullying and racial harassment.

The legal definition can depend on where the behaviour occurs, what has happened and the circumstances involved. You do not necessarily need to determine the legal classification yourself before seeking support.

Sometimes the first sign is not the behaviour itself but the way you begin to feel and behave around a particular person or environment.

For example, a person being repeatedly criticised by a manager may begin checking their work excessively, avoiding conversations and worrying about making even minor mistakes. A teenager being excluded or targeted online may stop wanting to attend school or social activities.

Being repeatedly targeted, humiliated or intimidated can affect how you feel about yourself and the world around you. The impact can extend beyond the situation itself and affect your confidence, relationships, sleep, concentration and general wellbeing.

People respond differently. Experiencing bullying does not mean that you will develop a mental health condition. If changes in your mood, sleep, confidence or ability to function continue, talking with a qualified professional can help you understand what support may be appropriate.

Workplace bullying can be particularly difficult because leaving the situation may not be straightforward. You may depend on your job financially, work closely with the person involved or worry about what will happen if you make a complaint.

Workplace bullying can involve repeated unreasonable behaviour from a manager, colleague, subordinate or group of people.

A difficult manager is not automatically a bully, and reasonable management action carried out in a reasonable way is not considered workplace bullying.

Workplace bullying may include:

• persistent unreasonable criticism

• deliberately isolating someone

• humiliating them in front of colleagues

• setting unreasonable expectations

If you are experiencing problems at work, consider looking at your employer’s policies and speaking with a trusted manager, human resources representative, health and safety representative, union or relevant external organisation.

If you believe the behaviour may involve discrimination or unlawful harassment, the Australian Human Rights Commission and relevant state or territory bodies can provide information about available options.

There is no single response that works in every situation. What is appropriate will depend on where the behaviour is happening, who is involved and whether you feel safe confronting the person.

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Counselling cannot guarantee that bullying will stop, and a counsellor cannot control another person’s behaviour. However, counselling can provide support while you are dealing with the situation and its aftermath.

For example, someone who has experienced workplace bullying may continue feeling anxious even after leaving the workplace. Counselling can provide space to process the experience and consider how it has affected their confidence and relationships.

Someone experiencing cyberbullying may also benefit from having somewhere to discuss the impact without feeling pressured to immediately decide what action to take.

Counselling can sit alongside practical action rather than replace it. Depending on the circumstances, you may also need workplace, school, legal, medical or other forms of support.

A GP can help if changes in your mood, sleep or health need further attention and can discuss suitable support.

For workplace bullying, harassment or discrimination, you may also need advice from your employer, union, workplace safety authority, the Fair Work Ombudsman, the Australian Human Rights Commission or an appropriate legal service.

If harassment involves sexual violence, domestic or family violence, or you feel unsafe because of someone else’s behaviour, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.

If anyone is in immediate danger, call 000.